we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
