they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
