Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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