dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
