We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize