It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
did i just pee glitter
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
