I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there's paper in my vomit.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
