so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
