Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
