dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
from now on my penis is your penis
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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