break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
