so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
