Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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