He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
