Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
