if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
