He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
