btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
