its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
