a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
