You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
