Who wears a wallet chain?!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
