I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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