I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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