I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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