Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
