ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you never un-have a 4some
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
