I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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