You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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