but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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