Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
how does that bad decision feel?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
