I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Two words: blizzard sex
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize