oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
