Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's never too late to be topless.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
