like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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