Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
