He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
