I think I can smell my own vagina right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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