you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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