when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
