Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
