love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
