Quick, to the slutcave!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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