ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
