the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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