I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize