We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
