i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
