I wannas sexs uuuuu
someone threw a dead crab at me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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