Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Please, let me fuck your mom
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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