My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
