I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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