If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
