This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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