I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He called his prostate his "boner button".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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