He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
