a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Shame is for Republicans.
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