Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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