You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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