Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
