I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
being pregnant is like rehab
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
