she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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