dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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