I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
