I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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