I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
