you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
MIDGETS
????
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
