dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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