If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
