I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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