dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
